Thursday, January 31, 2013

A new heart . . . "Part B" . . a personal testimony . . .

Sometimes you may wonder what is going on behind the scenes and why the Lord may say a particular passage to me.  If you have not read the previous post please stop and read it and then this one.  This passage I wrote about today is extremely personal to me.  See this was the passage He showed me Tuesday morning this week, before I headed to the hospital for a heart and leg catherization. 
I was very concerned about the procedure as I had been having a significant amount of chest and leg pain and my health history in this regards was not too well.  Indeed, with 3 stents already in the same artery (the widow maker), blood clots behind my right knee and a blood clot in my left ventricle I was not excited about the prospects.  I figured that I was going to find myself headed to John Hopkins to have a coronary bypass.
For a number of weeks, even before the pain, God had been showing me the following passage:
Point:  God had been assuring me that I would live.  However, it concerned me that He had to keep assuring me.  Kinda like a child who has to constantly be assured that it will go well.  Why? Because what they would have to go through, for a while it would not look that way.
So . . I thought that I was going to have to go through a rough ride.  Things were not going to be easy.  Yes I was going to live but only after having to hold on to God’s promise that I would live with everything within me.  It was my "call into the night . . ."(see previous post).
But then Tuesday morning came . . . and His word to me at 3AM:  
Peace came over me.  I was ready, but still, "in my limited understanding" (see previous post) I believed that the result from the surgery, the ultimate open heart surgery, would be “a new heart.”
But God does not have such a “limited understanding.”
When the technician doing the echo cardiogram before the surgery could not find the blood clot in my left ventricle that has been there for over 3 years, I should have taken notice.
When she told me my ejection fraction (the measure of the strength and volume being pumped through the heart) was 55 . . . normal for a man my age, when the last time I had such pain it was below 26, I should have started shouting.
When the nurse came in and quickly found my pulse in both feet quite easily, I should have done more than simply marvel quizzing him, while noting that they ALWAYS have to get the doplar devices to find them for they are so weak due to the blockage.
When my surgeon came in and told me that my artieries in my heart are COMPLETELY CLEAR with NO Plaque, no build up or blockage of ANY degree.  When he said that although the major artery running done my left leg was 100% blocked, the body had created NEW arteries around the blockage so that there was a bypass already in place and NO impediment of flow to my foot.  When he said that it was completely clear all the way done to my right foot, with NO thrombosis (clots) impeding the flow.
Well, when I stood up to walk to the car . . . Well . . . I should have realized . . . I should have been SHOUTING, SCREAMING, RUNNING ALL THROW THE PARKING LOT!  I should have been Crying, Praising the LORD with ALL of my heart!  I should have been laid prostrate out on the ground crying out His name!  HALLELUJAH!  WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! YESSSSS GOD!!!!
I did not write this at first because I did not want this word to be about me.  I also have interviews and other professional work, and I didn’t want to put all this out there in fear of what may happen. 
I now understand how that woman felt.  She didn’t want anyone to know of the illness she had been suffering from.  She knew that the law could come down hard on her for being in the midst of the crowd while bleeding.  She knew she could be ostracized.  She knew she could pay a price.  BUT she knew also that the change, the healing was too much, that she had to bear witness in the presence of all the people.  That she had to give the reason for her praise, for her tears, for her new life, her new way, her fullness.  Today I was that woman, . . till now.
And Jesus’s response:
Do you understand? 
He, my Lord has healed me and I cannot keep silent.  I must speak.  I must praise Him. 
I thought I was going to need open heart surgery.  In my "limited understanding" . . .
God simply opened up my heart . . . and so much more!
Now, . . . if you don’t mind . . . I have to get my dance, shout, and tears on!!!!!  It’s long overdue!!!!
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!
Got Word?
I did.  Pray you did too.
Love yah.

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