Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Proverbs 31                                                                                                              


Good morning son,

Tonight is New Years Eve, December 31 at the time of this writing. It is the end of one year and the beginning of a new one. And like on other occasions I am getting this one out very late, but not too late I hope.

This evening at the table it was just the two of us – Momma P and I. We went down memory lane for a quick moment of New Years past. Then we spoke of New Years Eve's to come. We spoke of what we thought the future would look like, what our expectations were, and what could be. We spoke of each of you, and of our joys and concerns as to where you stand at this very crossroads. In my heart I found myself beaming from ear to ear, why? Because I had a confidence as to the outcome of your lives, not because of all that I had done, but in a VERY large part because of the love work of the woman who sat across from me.

Proverbs 31: 2-3 “O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, do not spend your strength on women your vigor on those who ruin kings.”

Proverbs 31: 10-11 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

Proverbs 31:25-30 “She (a wife of noble character) is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

With all that we have read before about being wary of certain women, you would think that the writer would not feel it necessary to begin this discourse with a warning again – a warning not to “spend” your strength or “vigor” on women who ruin kings. This warning, however, is given within a context unlike previous warnings. “O my son” we've seen that before. “O son of my womb,” this we have not seen and wait a minute, isn't this being written by the dad? We have not seen this context before, a context which says you are more than flesh of my flesh but pulls together not just the standing of the father before the Father, but a context where the father and mother are one. And if we have any doubt, we see him noting that you, THEIR child is a child of his vows of unity before the Lord – “O son of my vows.” This is a new context. And why is this important?

Prior to this point the writer of Proverbs has not emphasized the role of the mother in the rearing of the child. He had not emphasized her importance, or the importance of their intimate relationship to the growth of the child. Sure he has mentioned the need to abide by and obey the lessons of the parents, but never to this extent. Here he is setting the stage for what is to come – a praise of the woman of “noble character.” I might have written it flipped for emphasis and to show you the proper progression of things - “O son of my vows, O son of my womb, O my son;” he, the writer, however starts with you and points you back to the source. With all he has written before you know already who are the women who ruin kings, and you also know they are not the women of whom you are to enter into a vow before the Lord. So he sets the stage for the instruction to come as to who you should look for.

Proverbs 31: 10-11 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

“A wife of noble character . . .” this is who you should be looking for. You know there is an assumption that you and I know what noble character is. But do we?

Webster's dictionary has several definitions, but one seems to me to be most in line with the writer's intended meaning: “Precious,; pure: said of minerals and metals.” As the writer goes on to compare her to being more valuable than rubies – I think we have a winner in this definition. Plug it in:

“A wife who is precious and pure of character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”

What makes a woman “precious and pure?” Perhaps we can learn from taking a look at the diamond. A diamond is a diamond it matters not where it may be found. Every diamond has flaws. Its value is not found in its size, but in its clarity and purity; the purity of the reflection of the light through it and its flaws. This reflection makes it precious, unique and of extreme value. The purer the light of God is reflected through a woman in her character, the more noble her character. And in such a woman, her husband can trust.

At the time of this writing Momma P and I have celebrated twenty-five (25) years of marriage – Our Silver Wedding Anniversary. I would like to say that I have trusted her as this verse says, but to my discredit and own hurt I have not always done so. I say to my discredit because Momma P, she is a woman of noble of character, one in whom such trust in more than warranted. If you are having a problem identifying such a woman, simply read on as the writer describes her. Yes, and I do mean for you to read it. . . .

I'm waiting . . . verses 12 – 24.

Read it? Well . . . I'm waiting. If you want to you can make a list of the attributes of such a woman. It might look something like this:

  • shendoes not look to harm you or her family (you guys), but only looks to yall's good;
  • is an eager worker, not slothful;
  • as for food, boy does she know how to ferret ans search out a bargain!
  • she does not sleep when her family needs to eat, but is willing to sacrifice her sleep to make sure they and all she is responsible for have food;
  • she is wise in her business and her work profits the family;
  • she is a hard worker;
  • she is generous to the poor and needy;
  • she cares for the needs of her family in their daily covering outside and inside . . .

Now, I'll pick up with the ending verses . . the others that leaped out at me.

“She (a wife of noble character) is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Funny thing about this point . . . it does not appear that she can “laugh” at the days to come” because the days are always to be well. In this verse we see a defiant woman who says through her laughter that nothing can destroy the work of her hands or her family. This is not dependent upon her husband or children, but is based upon her “strength of character” base upon her “dignity.” If you have any question as to what the source of this dignity is just read a little further . . .

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”

The source of all wisdom is God. This we know. So the source of this dignity and strength is Him alone. In such a position she can laugh at the future. She can defy the odds. She can experience the love og God in a manner which none other can – one which surpasses any despair or concern, which does not ignore the hurts and pain, bur recognizes that all such life experiences are but a stepping stone to the ultimate blessing of God, that she is never, NEVER, alone, and that she is always, ALWAYS within the covering of the Almighty – in a manner which she knows that she knows that she knows that He alone is victorious in and through all situations! Her instruction to her family is faithful to these truths.

I don't think I should need to say this, but just in case you missed it: No woman is a a woman of noble character who does not have a personal REAL relationship with the Lord – who does not fear the Lord.

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

One of the favorite verses of Momma P is “know the condition of your flocks.” Very little catches her unawares. She works hard at addressing matters which I would easily miss. Allowances – she never missed one (please accept my apology for all trauma experienced by you when I was in charge LOL). Bank account balances, automatic payments, social calendars and even the more important stuff. . .

“Honey, your daughter needs you to take her out tonight she has had a really bad day.” From this bit of observation came the emergency code for “daddy I need you NOW.” “Honey, your son wants to spend some time with you – let him just ride around and you listen.” From this came a move of the entire family to allow for me to spend more time with the family. The “affairs of her household” reaches deeper than you can imagine.

No wonder the children rise up and call her blessed. But I must say the praise of the husband is most on target.

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

To understand this praise you should look at the verse to follow:

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Now you know that at this time I am going through what is commonly referred to as a “mid-life crisis” or as some like to refer to it as “male menopause.” Ouch. That did not feel too good to say. But it is the truth. Often times a man is turns to the charm of another and the fleeting beauty of the doe's walking around, as he searches for validation of his contribution to his family and community. It is a rough time for any man, myself included. And although I find myself crying a lot, I also find myself more aware of the value of Momma P. See what makes her surpass them all? She is a woman who fears the Lord and of whom I receive a direct and daily benefit from. See the writer notes that there are many who do noble things, however, from the reading before you and I know that the workings here of this woman is unique as for the noble things are specifically towards her family, nuclear and extended. She surpasses them all in his eyes, for she is the woman of His vows.

The charm and beauty that Momma P possesses is timeless, because it comes from within and flows without directly to me. As I looked across the table this evening at her, I saw such beauty. I have heart and eyes for none other. This even more so in my hour of pain and need as in our collective joys.

In seeking for that woman of noble character examine her in accordance with this word. Find a woman who fears the Lord first. There is such a one for you. Do not settle for less. Any other will be one who ruins kings.

Luv yah,

dad

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