Proverbs 17                                                                                                         

Good morning son,

In the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Smiley you can find out what your basic love language is. Mine is “quality time.” What that means is that I experience and give love by spending, eye ball to eye ball, talking time with a person. You can usually identify these persons in that they like to talk, and talk, and talk. The danger in talking so much is found in what you may be saying. See there is life and death in the power of the tongue. Thus what I am spewing out of my mouth is making a difference in my life and the lives of others, whether it be positive or negative.

Proverbs 17:27-28

“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”

I can not help but remember an old fraternity brother of mine who I will call Randy. When I first met him I thought he was SO very smart and wise. He would sit in meetings and among the brothers with this thoughtful pensive look on his face, with a “I'm pondering this” body demeanor. He was one of those I really wanted to get to know.

Now his girlfriend was a complete “didtsy” blonde, some would say with not a complete thought in her entire head.

Now in the south we would make the last statement acceptable by the addition of “God bless her soul.” This is supposed to cover a multitude of characteristics and when said, allows one to say some of the most hurtful things to another and yet come across as being oh so polite – “He's as dumb as a door nail, God bless His soul;” “She's so ugly she scared the blind cat away – God bless her soul” - and if what you want to say is extremely damaging add a “little” in there to REALLY make it sweet - “They have as much direction in life as a bunch of alley cats on fire – God bless their little souls.” Does it work – the God bless His soul in sweeting a bitter hurtful statement – NOT. But I digress, . . . Well getting back to Randy . . . .

I should have realized something about Randy and his intellect based upon his selection of girlfriends. But I didn't. See back then I could put 2 and 2 together as well as one could put a square peg in a round hole – God bless my little soul (LOL). I should not have been surprised to find out that Randy was as dumb or dumber than his girlfriend. But he had one thing going for him. He knew how to look good and stay silent.

By keeping his mouth shut he was thought wise and discerning.

He was none of these. But he appeared to be a man of knowledge, using words with restraint, even tempered also.

Funny how God gives us advise which if we follow it, it opens the door to further learning. So assuming we are people slow to speak and quick to listen. Think about it. Have you ever learned anything about anything while speaking? Or do you learn more by listening? When we talk talk talk we may be saying more than what is wise to say. We may be “casting our pearls before swine” (look it up). As we have read several times before already in Proverbs, what we say can have a tremendous effect on what happens so wouldn't it be wise to carefully consider what we let out of our mouths?

Something we may say may sound good and yet be oh so devastating. Did adding “God Bless His Soul” change the effect of the hurtful words which came before? In fact, it actually may make it worse. Why? Because it almost legitimates the wrong being done, the lie being said, the hurtful characterization of the person, as if God desires the abnormal state of affairs on which we are making the derogatory comment. But God neither designed it as such or intended it to be as such. And what he says about his children would never leave them where they appeared to be. God doesn't make junk.

I know that God has made each of us, you included, an AWESOME person and has equipped you to overcome every obstacle in the path He has given you to walk in. I know that within your heart abides God, His Holy Spirit who is there to teach you all things. He doesn't leave us dumb and dumber, but instead is ready to teach us if we are willing to listen and obey.

Hmmm . . . we must be silent to listen and get wisdom and understanding.

There may come a time, if we follow the warning here in Proverbs, that how we are viewed will be in accordance with how we are; when our silence and restraint will accurately reflect the wisdom that abides within us. We will have become a people of restrained lips because we are listening and speaking only after His instruction. We will be wise. And with this wisdom will be found in us an even temperament.

Now that hurt a little.

I can not say that I have an even temperament in all areas of my life. But I can say that wherever you do not see an even temperament in me you will also find me lacking wisdom; or you could say, wherever I lack wisdom I also lack an even temperament.

Ouch.

Well I would write more, but time is passing and I think that this time it might be best if we just chew on what's already been written. Also, I kinda want to be thought wise. . . LOL

Take a look at your life, your interactions with others. Are there times when it would be best that you keep your mouth shut? Are there times where through listening you might gain understanding and wisdom? Are there areas of your life where you lack an even temperament? Well seek the Lord for wisdom and understanding for those matters. ( you know the thing that immediately when you think about it you get upset).

God wants us to not only appear to be wise, but to be wise. He's got the wisdom and the understanding and is ready to give it to you. Just seek Him.

Love yah,

dad